Portrait of Me as a Writer
I decided to leave the world of work
as a pizza slinger as a mail clerk
to go to college
the get the piece of paper
ran into a teacher who on the first day
of class handed out a different photograph
to each of us with the instruction
write a description of the photograph
specific enough so someone could read
and envision the photograph
without seeing it. so I did
two days later he handed back the papers
to everyone but me
asked me to meet him in his office
after class I thought great
1st assignment and I'm already in trouble
he asked me to sit down
I asked him how bad did I screw up
you didn't screw
I actually think you have the talent
to be a writer
I'm not making any promises
I'm not talking Earnest Hemingway
but I think you have talent
and I'm going to do everything I can
to develop that talent
I told him I have no interest in being a writer
thus the battle of the Titans began
the summer boys
wore hot chucks
and cut off jeans
on summer streets
the summer girls
in loose fitting
peasant blouses
strutted toward
the lions
tigers and horses
dancing
on the carousel
near the bandstand
the swimming pool
the base and basket
ball field and court
love steam rose off
all the park benches
Caveat Emptor
Gus said this came
from the founding fathers
you know the ones with
the slaves and shady
business associates
Caveat Emptor let the
buyer beware keep
your eye peeled for an
insurance or used car
salesman the job of
the businessman is to
stick it up your ass
and it’s strictly up to
the customer to prevent
that from happening
a time old tradition
passed down by the founding
fathers to the poor
schleps on the streets
Getting My Story Together
For the better part
of my life
pre drunk drunk and sober
I been gathering
the bits and pieces
of my story
minor and major
good and bad
happy and sad
weighted down by
psychiatric maladies
charging fearlessly
or witlessly into the fracas
of the abyss putting
the words on pages
the pages between covers
romance and rejection
victories and miserable defeats
putting together
the elements of a life
organized and collated
to hand to the librarian
on my way down the chute
I didn't have any kids.
Apparently
God does
know what he's doing !
Moon Shot
Gus said he’s heard folks
say things like shoot the
moon but never could figure
what that meant
other than
bare your ass to the world
but he
found himself often take
a moon shot going after
trying to tag and claim
a few of the countless
precious hopes
and dreams that populate
the surface of the moon
of love romance carnal
knowledge friendship
lost relationships melancholy
moods hope optimism
peace civility compassion
joy satisfaction fulfillment
and the holy cow that
nightly jumps over the moon
Slow day at Bed Rock.
Preacher got defrocked
for consorting with a mule.
Said it was true love
what inspired him to bugger
that animal from behind.
Ambivalence
Can't tell whether its left
or right or up or down
I want to go
don't know anymore
whether
its the extreme hot
or the extreme cold
that repulses me more
don't know if I'm beginning
to lose my edge
or if I'm headed
in an altogether new
direction at what I do
I do know I view the sun
and clouds
with equal disdain
and rain and snow with
just as much contempt
waking in the morning
just another rude awakening
Broken Heart
My heart broke into
countless pieces
the pain was
excruciating
I wished for death
but death did not come
I lost my appetite
I lost my self esteem
could have wiped up
my self respect
with a tissue from the floor
but somehow I survived
to have my heart broken
again
and again
each time no less painful
than before
but each time I survived
and now that these
heart breaks
are decades behind me
they've
taken on a romance
a romantic melancholy
that brings shape and depth
a strength of tone
to my range of feeling
to my range of emotion
to almost die
an emotional death
and survive
The Lights Went Down
It wasn't a blackout
because
the lights stayed on
so it must have been
a brownout
because
the lights went down
the lights went low
down low
to almost yellow
gave everything
an eerie look in shades
in unexpected shadows
in window boxes
plants in door frames
in almost night
seem to bring clouds down
from a heavy sky to loom
on the streets
in almost light
made some neighbors
nervous
afraid this might be
armageddon the apocalypse
City Light
At the bottom of the city
way beneath the skyline
there are dark alleys
where rats reign supreme
under jaundiced street lights
small rooms in large
buildings with dim lights
women selling
their bones for crack
men selling their hands
and lips for heroin
thugs rolling widows and
senior citizens
for their monthly checks
second story men breaking
into ground floor rooms
too lazy to climb the stairs
victims of angry knives
bleeding on the sidewalk
poets and musicians hiding
out pretending that
armageddon has not yet arrived
Sirens
I hear the sirens
I see the ambulances
and police cars
responding to blood
heart attack
murder emergencies
destination morgues
and hospital ERs
the swill of after hours
the swill of after life
I hear the sirens
singing to me
from the rocks just
off the sea
I am tempted sorely
to swim to them
and drown just
about half way where
I will become
the swill
of pleasant dreams
Street Trade
Affairs and infidelity are
open play
fair game
the painted whores and
street trade
are kept away
from the hotel bars lobbies
restaurants
to maintain a facade
of common grace
and respectability
to keep the married men
from making
an all out dash to the streets
the whores
with exciting painted faces
exposed breasts
accentuated asses
forbidden excitement across
the street
men leaving the wives sitting
in the restaurants
I wasn't the sharpest
knife in the drawer
to begin with, now
I'm starting feel like
I'm losing my edge.
Ashley Judd says
'nights are
a savage agony’
good enough
for her
good enough for me
Micro Mini Stroke
started noticing
some tremors in his hands
that worsened as days
and weeks went by
then lost his sense
of balance
that sent him careening
down the stairs
sent his head into
the landing wall
made his legs dessert him
introducing him
abruptly to the street
to sidewalk
and other earth surfaces
first neurologist he went to
sent him for physical therapy
the balance came back
but hands kept on shaking
got told he had Parkinsonism
not disease but ism
next neurologist he went
to see
scanned his brain
found some spots of blood
told him he’d had a Micro
Mini Stroke
and that’s what caused
the tremors and dancing
fingers in his hands
also found a significant
accumulation
of some white shit
around his brain stem
another neurologist diagnosed
him subnuclear something
or other
that would have him dead
within two years
but before that he would lose
the ability to walk, talk, eat,
and eventually think
the next neurologist told him
he didn’t have
a micro mini stroke
Parkinson’s Parkinsonism
or
subnuclear whatever it was
what he did have was too
much medication
to keep his bi-polars in line
Parade
I expected to see
a continuous
parade of
raven haired
tan skinned
shapely women
cocoanut breasts
beach ball butts
swaying hips
but it was only
to be
in my mind
along the six
tiered
walkway around
the abandoned
Normandy Hotel
hundreds of them
dancing naked
with luscious
Carmen Miranda
fruit baskets
on their heads
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